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Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!—Viktor Frankl

I’ve been wanting to write to you these days about these distressful thoughts we have in life. We all have them, no matter what they are about—making our life to be the perfect life we don’t actually have, wanting success and looking for prestige desperately—we chose to not have time to speak about our own feelings. My life is shifting, I found myself in big transitions, neither too perfect nor imperfect, but still enough thoughtful to learn from all this transformation, arbitrary or planed. I’ve never been afraid of thinking my own thoughts and even more than this, to make them real. I’ve always had this incredible desire to construct that form of greatness sometimes I felt was in my thoughts. Any attempt to render to reality my ideas and give myself up to total freedom to create, was stronger than any form of prestige that could only mess up what I really like. I admit that deceitfulness has never existed in my life, more because of some form of egoism that kept me away of troubling my composure and which eventually led me to care more about genuineness than worrying about the opinion of the rest of the world.

But today, there was the Beatles and Presley playing, snowing was falling outside, then sun was raising and old vinyls smell was making everything better…I was searching reasons for this expectation, silently, almost struggling not to fall back, to keep believing. The world seemed at equals times meaningless or exuberant. This succession was keeping my existence real, undisguised. I was sure I can not get the ultimate answer or purpose, as the circumstances were changing and I was loosing the capacity of deliberating my own choices. I’ve always enjoyed the liberty of choosing my attitude in any given circumstances, to choose my own way, to brighten at the view of being able to make decisions. Decisions about myself or the life I’m living, big dreams, hidden thoughts—all this was giving me some inner complete freedom, that I was not ready (why should I be?!) to give up. The fact that I was able to find some meaning in any circumstance I was encountering, depending of the situation, agony or joy, was assuring me I have not lost my freedom. Freedom is for me, that part which is breaking out our real faces, when we can be at the climax of joy or when we can be deeply sadden. Freedom might be the perfect part of life, no matter what type of circumstances is touching, freedom it’s always keeping its balance, because life will be always about agony and joy. Freedom is adding meaning to our lifes and let’s us in complete control of what we are going to do. We should not forget that we have opportunities to change our lifes, we only need to make use of our desire to be better.

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