Each year’s end made me make wish lists with the most ardent dreams. When I was looking at all that numbered dreams, I was feeling like they could become soon real. 10 or 12 objectives for the new year, some important, some just connected, were almost all the time written on a nice agenda.
I’m not doing this since almost 3 years. I stopped doing it because I felt that just one of all those things was important. In the past years, I was looking for different things, but the most important was all the time, the same.
I was feeling miserable when people around me disappointed me and were not believing in the same things as I. I was not understanding that some relation need something more than just affinities. There was needed a handful of perseverance and desire to succeed. Either if you speak about love, work or simply friendship, everything is bounded by a strong desire to work the things out right.
I was feeling weak because I couldn’t find those people with desire to create something. I was not understanding and still I don’t, people without dreams. Thus, I stopped looking for the right people. I stopped accepting in my life people which don’t know what friendship is, what love is or don’t have right principles in life. It has been three wonderful years since then, surrounded by just a few people important to me. I don’t regret a second for being so restrictive regarding the people which have remained next to me. I never really felt the need to be again next to those people which got out of my life.
That big objective was to find the right balance in my life, to be in a place that will make me feel good about myself, about people around me, that will give the opportunity to banish the bad thoughts that sometimes were in my mind just because of the incapacity of finding valuable people.
The modern life transformed us in little monsters. Everyone knows something, everyone has an opinion about something, everyone is giving advices, we all are experts in something. In all this craziness is hard to find the right people that will know for real something and which will have a valuable company for you.
Since child I learnt to accomplish objectives in order to grow on different plans. With time I become a competitive spirit. This is not so much applied with people around me, then is with me. I feel that time must be for real cherished, therefore rarely, I allow to myself moments in which I have a white silence. I feel that all the time I must to do something, is not something fussy, I’m calm and organized, is more that I have the urged to do something. Either is something creative or something at work. I have my moments of laziness, but even though I will not move a finder, my mind will work to plan something.
At each year’s end I’m wondering if my year was good spent, if I cherished the time given to us, if I accomplished something, if I made proud my family, if I deserve something. I’m scrupulous and when I know that I did something wrong, I regret so much that I become sad. For this new year, I wish to have the clarity to see things through, to be strong and never forget why I am who I am and to follow my dreams in order to achieve that so-desired balance of things in my life. I wish to have the same sincerity with me and people around me, to recognize with happiness my success and with humbleness my losses, to keep having courage to pursue my dreams and love and appreciation for the loved ones and for everyone that helped me to become today the person that I am, and believed along side me, in my dreams. Thank you all!
As some of you already saw on Facebook, I made this wonderful éclair layer cake for our New Year’s Eve party. I used the same recipe adapted from Pierre Hermé and Baking Obsession as last year. If you love éclairs as much as I do, don’t hesitate to make this recipe at home. The chocolate pastry cream is absolutely divine and can be used for a wide range of cakes and cookies.
For the pâte à choux:
115g unsalted butter, at room temperature
1/4 teaspoon salt
140g all-purpose flour
4 large eggs, at room temperature
For the chocolate pastry cream:
500g whole milk
4 large egg yolks
3 tablespoons cornstarch, sifted
200g bittersweet chocolate (I used Bonnat Madagascar and Ecuador 75% cocoa butter chocolate)
40g unsalted butter, at room temperature
Make the pâte à choux :